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the letdown

she knew she fell too hard
let her guard down way too fast
she was never anything more
than just his piece of ass.

her mind had started spinning
all the brightness turned to black
she had given her love away
and he wouldn’t give it back

it is said that time goes on
and all her wounds will heal
she just wishes all this pain
was nothing she could feel

but for this girl right now
the tears will surely flow
she was wishing for a love
that just isn’t gonna show

she curses the lonely nights
that go on for far too long
all that she truly wanted
were his arms to hold her strong

she says her heart is breaking
it can’t take this any more
she says its just not worth it
when he treats her like a whore

and now she’d rather be alone
than get used like this again
the one for her is out there
but she might not let him in

for her,fairy tales don’t come true
and knights don’t save the day
the wall she builds after each let down
will drive them all away.

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RROTD – 11/5/2013

Un-Social Networking?

It amazes me that in all the ways there are to personalize our phones, we are actually removing from our lives all traces of being people.
While we can all undoubtedly tout the innumerable ways in which technology has improved our lives, I cannot help but also look at the countless ways which we are also becoming less and less “human” because of it. It has been both a significant improvement and a ruthless master.
Look around you, tell me how many people you come across in your day to day activities that do NOT have a phone in their hand. Ask yourself, of all the people you have in your cell phone contact lists or Facebook “Friend” lists, how many have you actually SPOKEN with in the last week? How many have you seen face to face in the last month? How many do you actually truly personally KNOW? My bet is the number of those people will be very very low.

The act of Learning and our strive for knowledge is no longer passionate…if we desire to know something we simple “google” it rather than going out and participating in the learning experience. Almost gone are the days of spending hours reading an actual paper BOOK, going to a library, a museum, a zoo, etc. All we want to learn about can be found online with little to no actual effort involved. What is Life without effort, experience, failure, success, interaction with others, learning, passion, etc?
Take texting as an example:
Human experiences shape who we are, we learn by Doing, by putting forth the effort to fully engage in LIFE as we move through it. We learn by touch, sight, sound, smell. When we have a conversation there are numerous clues we use to gain an understanding of the spoken words. When texting, there is no conveyance of feeling, no emotion, no facial expression, no tone of voice, etc – just words on a screen and we assume to understand them..sometimes we’re correct, sometimes not. If those words are something of importance, shouldn’t they be conveyed in a more stable environment to prevent all misunderstanding? Actually speaking to people is becoming a lost art apparently.

Flash back: Who can remember the intense, palm sweating, fear of talking to a crush for the first time on the phone? The sound of a voice shaking with nervousness? Now, if you like someone, you “friend” them or “stalk” them on Fakebook, you send only the best pictures back and forth, you text them…all of this without ever actually having to get to KNOW the person they are. They probably look like shit in the morning just like you and I but you’ll never know that because you only see the “approved” pics. The ones which show our best sides. God forbid anyone should be REAL anymore right? A lot of diamonds in the rough are out there but may never be found because they didn’t post a spellbindingly perfect picture of themselves on Fakebook.
It’s sad. You don’t have to actually interact with Anyone anymore. There are no risks, no consequences, no experiences, just random words that you may or may not have the courage to say should you be standing in front of them. Online bravery at it’s best for those not willing to take the chance of possible rejection (another fact of life- rejection – little fear of that anymore).

We have “friends” who we have never met, lives with little to no substance outside of a computer/cell phone screen, and we very very rarely ever look up from those screens long enough to notice the world around us. We take the “easy way out” to everything anymore and that is nothing less than a shame.
Relationships of every kind have dwindled down to involving as little human contact as possible.
Facebook as a perfect example: “Facebook Marriage” is a trend amongst teens these days…What in the F@#K is that? Or “Post this on your wall and see what people rate you” – Really?? Here’s a thought: Go out and BE someone, interact with other human beings, participate actively in something away from your computer screen..then maybe your life will be so much better that you won’t give a shit what a bunch of “strangers” on your friend list “rate” you because your TRUE friends will know how valuable you already are.
Look, I know social technology, social networking have their many advantages and I’m not against it all. I just wish that people would remember how to be human beings again. Get up from their computers, go outside and enjoy life, breathe fresh air, FEEL what it’s like to be alive. The world is constantly changing around us and if we don’t get out from in front of these damned screens, we will miss so much

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30 Simple Pleasures

  • waking up next to the person you love
  • a sunrise/sunset
  • a walk in the park
  • puppies
  • a kitten’s purr
  • a child’s smile
  • a ride through the mountains
  • a walk on the beach
  • a boat on the river
  • a lazy afternoon
  • cooking dinner together
  • a long hot shower
  • a long hot bath
  • a glass of wine by the fire
  • gazing at the stars
  • a moonlit night
  • a soft caress
  • making someone smile
  • playfulness
  • children’s laughter
  • dinner for two
  • a porch swing
  • bonfires in the fall
  • reading a good book
  • morning coffee
  • picnics
  • swimming in a creek on a hot summer’s day
  • feeling wanted
  • dark chocolate
  • italian food
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If I won the Lottery

I will never understand all those people who win the lottery and wind up destitute and unhappy shortly afterwards, some even worse off than before they won. Why? They run out and purchase every single luxury item they’ve ever wanted, they purchase 8 cars, and splurge on every fantasy they’ve ever had. Why?
If I ever won the lottery I would buy each of my 3 children 1 acre of land on which would stand a simple home…nothing grand or luxurious, just a simple home that they could live in without worry of it being taken away. A place for them to live a simple happy life, a place to raise their children. I would also give each a small sum of money to put away for emergencies.
I would also buy a piece of land for myself, and an old farmhouse, the kind with a big porch, a swing and room for some chairs to relax in. The farmhouse would be solid in foundation and structure, but would maybe need some work, some TLC. It would have a big kitchen, an old claw foot tub, wood floors, plenty of windows and at least one fireplace.  On the land would be room for several gardens, one would just be for “night blooming” flowers; another for lilies, roses, honeysuckle,fragrant flowers of all types, a home for butterflies, hummingbirds, etc; and yet another garden just for vegetables and herbs. I would also have room for a barn where I would keep a horse. I would want the land to be near the woods where there were trails to walk or ride,  near a field to run in.. Someplace with alot of trees and where all of nature could be seen and enjoyed.
I would buy an old Dodge Ram for use around the property, a motorcycle, and a simple economical car to drive when needed…none of which would be brand new. Whatever money was left would go into an account for bills, and savings.
While there are MANY fantasy ideas for lottery money, and yes even I have one…. to drive a Mclaren P1 around Italy and shop for clothes before hitting the all inclusive weekend at the spa 🙂   …I believe that’s all it is:  fantasy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it but it’s just not for me. While I would LOVE to have a jet black 69 Camaro in perfect original condition – I’m more the type that would buy the beat up, non-running one so I could spend my days fixing it up and restoring it myself. While most would buy a brand new home with every imaginable convenience built in – I would rather buy a house with history and character, and spend my days fixing it up to be exactly what I want. While many would love to travel the world – I am just as happy on a motorcycle ride through the mountains…..it’s just that simple

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I yearn/beg/wish for a simple life

Maybe I’m old fashioned, who knows, but I want to enjoy the rest of my life with someone who has a strong mind and heart. someone who is well aware of all the bad in the world yet still tries to shelter me from it  I have lived long enough to appreciate all the things that truly matter. I have been through hell and come out the other side with experience. I have had money and I have been poor…I’ve learned there are some things which money cannot buy. Money cannot buy Love or Happiness no matter how much you have in the bank.

To me, happiness comes when you work together to enjoy life. There is no easy path in life but traveling that road with someone you love can make the journey so much better. If two people cannot work together to accomplish their goals, than what good is it? I believe you should stand by each other, comfort each other in times of need. I believe that the simplest of things can make all the difference and it is only when we try to complicate matters that we start to fail.  A “well, what have you done for me?” attitude has no place in a love story.

I want for nothing except to be loved. Without it life just isn’t complete, and with it there is nothing that can’t be done. That’s all we really want isn’t it? Someone who sees the imperfections in us all, and still chooses us to have a life with? I don’t need a man to buy me things, I don’t need a man to be anything but himself because that is who I would fall in love with… the man he really IS – in all his imperfect, slightly crazy, amazing glory..and that is all I would ever want in return

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RROTD – 10/22/2013

Believe me, I’m 100% woman but Damn, some women are simply an embarrassment to our gender.
I will never understand the women who see dollar signs when looking into a man’s eyes. The women who are with someone simply for what she can get out of them, the women who go after every dime she can get her hands on from a man. I do NOT agree with someone getting spousal support – sorry ladies, I know that’s a traitorous statement to make but I just don’t see how ANYONE should have to PAY you so you can live the life you’re “accustomed” to…I mean REALLY?? What does that say about you? That you’re not strong enough to take care of yourself, and that you’re spiteful at the very least. If I work at a job for 11 years and quit one day, do I go after the company to pay me anyway because I’m used to having that money? Come on..it’s stupid bullshit. Another favorite is when a woman refuses to sign divorce papers after several years simply because she would lose all the money/benefits/etc. she receives…Honestly??? You would rather stay legally married to a person who you do not love, who you do not wish to be with, simply because you don’t want to lose the income?? Are you f*cking kidding me? What in the hell is wrong with you?
Before you all start writing all the hate mail telling me about the ones who “did you wrong” and try to rationalize why you feel you deserve anyone else’s money, try this instead: Move ON.. No matter what happened, for whatever reasons, you’re relationship is over – it’s time to chalk it up as a loss and find someone else…or maybe that greedy streak that had you wanting someone else’s money is what kills your relationships to begin with. I was married for 13 years, I know all about the garbage a woman can deal with and I know what divorce can be like, I stand by my opinion. When Money becomes that much of an issue to you, you deserve to be single. I will NEVER understand how money can take the place of happiness or love, and I’d rather live in a shoebox with the man who means EVERYTHING to me, than in a mansion with the one who means nothing.

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